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While having sex with a new partner can be fun and exciting, it can also be a little nerve-wracking. Turns out, the weirdness isn't just in your head: Sex with a new partner can actually freak out your vagina a bit too. And we're not talking about STDs.

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In a way, your parents weren't lying when they told you that you were a very special little girl. Not because you have unique talents that set you apart from the rest of the world no, there are plenty of other people who can say the alphabet backwards ; rather, it's because you and your vagina are totally, completely unique. There are no two vaginas in the world that look the samesmell the same, or feel the same.

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When your vagina feels very tight, as though nothing could go inside, you may have a condition called vaginismus. In almost all cases, the vulva and vagina are completely healthy. Primary vaginismus, where nothing has ever entered the vagina, not even a tampon, is common among girls who have had a very loving, but sometimes over-protective background.

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Obviously we all know that, but it bears constant repeating. Seriously: respect. What can you do, penis?

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If you're trying to keep your vagina healthyyou're definitely not alone—dozens of products out there are trying to help you with that goal. But do you really know what you're shooting for—what a "healthy" vagina actually looks like? Sure, you can assume everything is working like it's supposed to, but what does it mean to have a healthy vagina—or, for that matter, an unhealthy vagina?

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Last month, a sex toy manufacturer launched a worldwide competition labelled "utterly creepy and sexist" to find the world's 'most beautiful vagina' - the idea being that the most voted-for submission would be used as the blueprint for a range of oral sex simulators. Obviously it was a pretty cheap PR stunt and heinous in its propagation of unrealistic beauty standards for women, but an interesting question remained — what does the average joe, conditioned by media, deem an 'attractive vagina'? That's it.

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What exactly IS a vagina? It's a surprisingly commong question, and one a good old vagina diagram can sure help out. You might think you've got it all down pat down there, but we use a lot of code words to talk about it, and we use the technical word itself in the wrong way — after all, it's not entirely accurate to call the extended network between your legs just the "vagina.

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Humor us for a sec: If the average woman had a Facebook page for her private parts we know, shut upodds are her relationship status would be "it's complicated," and she'd desperately need to post a profile picture. After all, new research from the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University suggests that she hasn't checked herself out much—only 26 percent of women look closely at their lady bits. Hey, we get it.

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I'm a sex educator who gets to work with mostly "enlightened women. And way too many of them are showing up at sexuality retreats and into private sex coaching practices talking about this feeling that their vagina is angry at them; turned off, disconnected and numb. These women want to feel connected to their entire body, turned on and alive.

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There were lasers, weed suppositories, crystal eggs, Bluetooth menstrual cups, and "vajacials" yes, that means a facial for your vaginajust to name a few. But keeping your vagina healthy really isn't as complicated as these new trends would make you think. So what are the best things you can do to take care of your vagina and vulva?

Comments

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